Trusting the Instincts of Your Adult Children… and Letting Go

Today’s guest post comes from my friend Barbara Younger’s Friend for the Ride blog, recently chosen as one of the best Menopause Health Blogs by Healthline. In this post, Barbara shares her wisdom on trusting her adult daughter’s instincts enough to let go of chiming in on important wedding decisions. I believe we Boomers with adult children could all stand to do a little bit more of this.

I’ve been mulling for a few days…

What can I say about being Mother of the Bride that is






I’m either in too much of a glow because things went well

or still so worn out from a frenetic week

to bestow wedding-changing MOB wisdom (if I even have any);

therefore, my best advice is this:

You’re the mom,

but she’s the bride.

This is her dream, not yours.

Trust her

when it’s time to select the MOB dress

B's Dress

and her own.


Trust her instincts on the bridesmaids dresses, too, and her shoes with lucky blue bows.

Bridesmaid dresses

She gets final call on what her nephew sports.


Up or down with the hair? The bride knows best.


When it comes to her dad’s bow tie,

Martin and Cliff edit

the design of the cake,


the added touches to the back of her dress,

Laura and Matt Tasting Cake

the napkin fabric and the menu design,


the paper lanterns to brighten the ceiling and the flowers to grace the tables,


she gets to decide because, after all, isn’t this the daughter who, when it was time to pick a groom, made an excellent choice?

Laura and Matt (2)

May they have happy days, festive nights, and in time, the pitter patter of energetic little feet.

But don’t tell the bride I mentioned that last pitter patter part.

I promised her I’d trust her instincts on that, too.

Bald Head Island

Laura and Matt were married on June 1 in the chapel on Bald Head Island off the coast of North Carolina. Wedding photos courtesy Matron of Honor Katherine Younger and wedding guest and blog reader, Lisa Wolfe.


1 Comment

  1. fitoru January 6, 2020 at 2:15 am

    this is a really great blog. Continue to spread relevant and useful information such as these. More power


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